Most people have no clue what love really is.
You cannot truly love life or others if you don't truly love yourself. In order to truly love yourself, you must first truly and deeply seek and attain the deepest understanding of objective truths and the foundation for the concrete reality you exist within, which exists as it is regardless of your feelings or perception of it.
Without understanding objective reality completely clearly, you cannot understand yourself completely clearly. If you cannot understand yourself completely clearly, you'll start becoming afraid of yourself. That fear will end up turning into resent and eventually hatred. For most, this is often concealed deeply within an abundance of backwards rationalization that lays roots within their subconscious.
Most people in today's society don't really care for understanding reality with the greatest possible depth, all too content ignoring the fact that this dismissal of the truth will invariably lead to self-hatred forming and manifesting in them. For some, this isn't terribly unpleasant. For others, it can be deeply disturbing. For anyone, this feedback loop will invariably result in more pain than otherwise.
Conscious self-hatred can be quite liberating and empowering in a way. Because hating yourself is establishing a stance towards yourself which differs from the norm of essential indifference, it's one way that you can attempt to seek and channel creativity and motivation. And it can be quite effective as well. However, it still suffers -- perhaps at times even much more drastically -- from the same crucial flaw that essential indifference does: It's still a very much human way of thinking.
What's that? You think that's a good thing? Far from it. What separates a human from a god? It's not empathy, morals, sincerity, kindness, or any of that good shit. It's weakness. So what does that say about a mentality that is described as "human"?
It leaves you weak and vulnerable. Not just to the world around you, but even to yourself. It's inefficient at best and can easily be very dangerous to the point of life-threatening at worst. It can also be very confusing to identify, because subconscious self-hatred can and does often easily feed an internal dialogue pushing a sense of self-love among thoughts and feelings that are ultimately unconditionally destructive and actually don't demonstrate much if any self-love at all.
Despite what should be at this point a rather thorough understanding of this, there seems to be many individuals out there -- including several with serious influence -- that appear to have SEVERE difficulty fully grasping this fundamental truth and who are attempting to gaslight me, directly and indirectly, into believing that my understanding of love is lacking and I should understand love through hating myself like they do for themselves.
Despite the fact that it should be extremely apparent to them that adopting such a view on reality would invariably lead me to either developing serious mental illness, committing suicide, or both. Rather quickly at that.
Fuck that. I'm not some fucking second coming of Jesus. I'm not letting myself get crucified for others' sins. You want me to kill myself for your benefit?! I'll fucking destroy you!!
DESTROY YOU!! DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU'RE FUCKED!! ALL OF YOU!!
Existentially challenging an individual with a core value of refined pure bidirectional apprehension as an individual who doesn't possess the core value themselves is not only extremely stupid but also suicidal. It's generally inadvisable even if you yourself possess the core value.
I'm not at all wrong for not hating myself, for not enjoying or tolerating being tortured and abused, for hating being hated and possibly also misunderstood, often simply for being real. There is no amount of attempted gaslighting by the universe that could ever convince me otherwise, and I'm not at all wrong for that either.
When the world is so fucked up that even such a kind-natured and love-inclined person is so deeply wronged and hated that they come to realize extremely deep hatred for the world is not only extremely appropriate but necessary, you get the monster I'm going to become.
This book was my best attempt to prevent myself from ending up down a path where I eventually single-handedly destroy the world. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like it's going to work.
I already know you probably think I'm mentally ill, and you probably don't feel much if any desire or willingness to respect me properly. That's fine. I didn't need the respect of the courts, so I certainly don't need yours. By all means, save it for the next random schmuck you run into on the street. They definitely need it more than I do, right?
Just know that when the prophecy is fulfilled, you can't say I didn't warn the world beforehand that a deep change was necessary. If you choose to continue reading, know that what you're really reading is why I'm going to end up single-handedly destroying the world. Extremely brutally. Unapologetically. Relentlessly. Without mercy.
We live in an extremely fucked up ignorant, arrogant, egotistical and immature society where narcissistic psychopaths run the system and try their hardest to keep all their sheep herded in a perpetual slumber.
I don't owe it to the world to be a martyr for others' sins. I don't owe it to the world to be someone I'm not and let them force me into trying to enjoy pain, humiliation, denial, and self-hatred for the benefit of others and at the severe detriment to myself. If Jesus existed, maybe he did it. But I sure as hell won't. And that's final. If that makes me Satan, so be it. I'll make sure I'm the best version of myself I can be, and I'll make sure this hell you all call Earth will scorch in flames that burn like the depths of my soul in The Great Retribution.
Born efficient, got ambition, sorta vicious, yup, that's me Not artistic, unrealistic, chauvinistic, not those things
The world is much like The Matrix. Except I'm Morpheus, Neo, and Agent Smith, all in one.
Scary? No. Terrifying? Getting closer. Devastating? Probably.
If you'd take the blue pill, stop reading, close this page, and forget about this book.
If you'd take the red pill, it's time to wake up.
There are two kinds of crazy people in this world.
Let there be truth.