Money can't buy you happiness, but it certainly can make your life easier and more pleasant to a very significant extent. In order to make the acquisition of money truly worth it, one must balance the time and energy involved in the acquisition of the money as a value trade-off with the purchasing power provided by the money acquired to obtain things that would improve the quality of one's life.
If things don't work out the way I'm hoping for and I don't end up getting to be with Kimi, then I already have plenty sufficient money to go into isolation. My plans are extremely inexpensive and meditating for 15+ hours a day underground in the middle of a forest with nobody knowing you're there costs literally nothing. Although I'm far from rich or even currently making income at a degree to live a pretty comfortable life, I still have more money than I need to make things happen if I'm going to go down the destructive path.
I suppose the most useful and pertinent thing to address in this respect is what I'd do if I had plenty of money at my disposal, particularly much more than I need to survive and life a comfortable and satisfying life while keeping Kimi happy as well. We're talking millions in the bank to spare. Well, I can tell you I certainly wouldn't be sitting around twiddling my thumbs wondering what to do with it, nor would I simply save it or use it in some degeneracy.
There are two primary areas that I would tackle with considerable amounts of money at my disposal, and most of the money spent would go to hiring teams of people that are talented in the relevant fields to perform tasks coordinated by my vision.
The first area I'd tackle, and perhaps the one far more critical in today's rapidly advancing technology age, would be to solve the operating system disparity problem.
There are currently three main computer operating systems out in the world that see considerable use: Windows, Linux, and Mac OS. All three of them have several issues, and it can only be resolved in one way which hasn't happened and isn't happening, much to the detriment of computer users worldwide, is due to one major reason: money.
Windows is closed source and plagued by viruses. Additionally, Windows 10 is a steaming pile of shit and isn't getting better any time soon. Microsoft trashed a proper testing team in favor of a terrible trial and error procedure on live machines "in the field" so to say, which is the computers of literally regular users. Microsoft has become notorious in recent times for it's history of broken Windows 10 updates and general fuckery with telemetry; the bastards literally don't give you the option to completely disable it. They even don't make it easy at all to disable automatic updates either, even in the face of all their update fuck-ups. Windows 7 was the last operating system Microsoft got right.
Mac OS is hardly even worth mentioning. It's fine for a basic user, sure, but by that standard, why not just use Linux? There's more support for some popular and useful products like Microsoft Office and Adobe Creative Suite, but Mac OS remains a shitty option for the more hardcore power users. Pretty much anything Mac OS can do, Windows can do better, plus it can run lots of games. The hardware is overpriced and the software is laughably bad. The main selling point remains the shiny and perhaps easier to use interface. Apple is an excellent example of what marketing and public perception can do to make a business profitable.
Linux is free, open source and excellently flexible for even the most hardcore power users, but it's biggest issue to destroy the competition is simply it's lack of compatibility with Windows software. For the most part, whatever you can do on Linux, you can also do on Windows, but there's a lot you can do on Windows that you simply can't do on Linux. Missing out on being able to run several popular pieces of software, including but certainly not limited to games, makes Linux a generally sub-par front-facing user operating system, and has left it only primarily useful as a server operating system, due to its security and customization capabilities.
Windows has compatibility, Mac has a pretty interface, and Linux has transparency and security. But for each of these, in the areas they lack, they lack severely. I have a clear vision for the answer.
GNU/Linux will be used as the base for development. An base environment similar to that of Debian seems most appropriate. A talented team of individuals with sufficient experience in programming and reverse engineering collaborate daily, as a full-time job, producing source code to rapidly advance the progression of the Linux ecosystem. Communication will be made with relevant leaders of upstream repositories for public codebases in relevant software, and if they're either not responsive enough or too restrictive in their acceptable operating parameters, the repositories will be forked and rapidly developed, remaining publicly accessible. The resulting computing environment will have builds regularly updated and released for both testing and production use. It will all be completely free for personal and commercial use. The entire endeavor will not be for profit, but rather for the benefit of the worldwide computing ecosystem.
The first target is WINE. Compatibility with Windows software is the primary downfall of Linux being adopted as a universally better alternative to Windows in pretty much every circumstance. A team will collaborate to rapidly reverse engineer many libraries throughout the Windows subsystem and implement various API's that currently have either entirely lacking or largely insufficient implementations for the vast majority of software to function correctly. More tight and efficient interoperability with an existing Windows subsystem and original Windows 7 SP1 files in an environment strictly not a direct VM will be the primary focus at first, enabling usage of fully functioning binaries as if running in an actual Windows 7 SP1 environment, and then progressing full speed at eliminating all reliance on the original closed source binaries.
Since driver-level compatibility is not within the scope of the WINE project, the main focus of this endeavor will be to simply allow a very high degree of proficiency within usermode frameworks to function within the emulated environment. The barrier of using pretty much any application that doesn't directly rely on low-level driver manipulation within the WINE environment will be eliminated.
Basically what this means is that various very useful pieces of software like Microsoft Office, Adobe Creative Suite, and many of the games so many people enjoy will all be available to run with a high degree of compatibility and excellent performance within the WINE environment, essentially allowing a Linux environment to be usable as if it's Windows.
The second target is MATE. There are several window management packages, but MATE is most suitable for my vision. Having been around a long time and very flexible, a focus will be made on improving it to provide better integration with the enhancements in WINE, as well as making it much prettier and more user friendly, taking inspiration from the strengths of both Windows and Mac OS, and combining them into a highly functional, flexible and easy to use solution.
Basically what this means is the operating system will look pretty, be easy to use for more basic users, and also have many settings that everyone from the slightly more advanced to the extremely hardcore power users can tweak to their liking.
These two tasks will take a considerable amount of money and time to accomplish. I'd regularly be checking up on what the teams are doing, leading prioritization and the vision for development on both aesthetic and technical fronts. My time would probably be better used in working on higher level design aspects rather than lower level code writing.
After these tasks, some focus can be made on the Linux kernel itself. Upon the team having deeply reverse engineered the Windows kernel, useful improvements can be integrated gradually into the Linux kernel to bring together the entire package. A heightened focus should also be applied to an application's functionality access privileges throughout the operating system. The result will be more robust and detailed privilege dialogues throughout both the Linux core computing environment as well as the WINE emulation subsystem.
Even if a virus is run within the WINE environment, it will prompt for privileges in a more robust way that are clearly displayed to the user (as opposed to the useless "do you want to allow or deny this application to run" dialogues that everyone just hits "Allow" to in Windows with UAC) which will make it much more obvious if an application is trying to do things it shouldn't be doing, which is pretty much always the case with viruses. A focus will be put on operations that can potentially lock down the usability of the system, or facilitate manipulation of data in potentially malicious ways. An antivirus will no longer become necessary in such an environment.
The result will be an extremely pretty, flexible, compatible, secure, and open source operating system that has all the advantages and capabilities of Linux, while also being able to run pretty much all Windows software. It will be free for the entire world to use. It should eventually completely run Windows and Mac OS to the ground.
To be completely honest, I'd do this simply because I'm an extremely hardcore power user and don't want to be using Windows 7 for the next 20 years or some crazy shit like that, since as it stands, Linux is many years away from being a viable replacement for Windows entirely, and Windows 10 is unstable, bloated spyware that has literally zero real advantages to use over Windows 7. No, the Windows Store doesn't count.
If I'd do it for myself anyways, there's really no reason to just keep it for myself. I know that it's going to get pirated to shit if I try to charge for it, so I might as well just release it for free and save myself the futile effort of trying to charge for it and instead accept praise and perhaps donations.
The second area I'd tackle is certainly less critical but still could be appreciated by many. I'd take the existing code that I developed while working on my multi-genre online game project and see that vision through.
Beyond mentioning what I'd do if I had a large sum of money available at my disposal, I suppose it may perhaps be even more pertinent, depending on who you ask, to explain how I plan to actually generate income. This is of course assuming Kimi dates me, since as I've already established, I have no desire to care about generating income if she won't.
It's pretty simple. I'm going to become a streamer and start streaming regularly. When combining the exposure that generally being a part of Kimi's life as her partner would give me with the exposure having written this book would give me, it becomes a powerful combination that gives me plenty of content on top of the ideas I already have for content. I could also choose to make YouTube videos or at the least upload highlights of my stream there, which could potentially be an additional revenue stream.
I already work so hard every day for so many hours and in a way that requires extreme concentration and critical thinking, so even full-time streaming would actually be considerably less stressful than what I'm dealing with right now. I'm well spoken, have no issue being energetic, and don't have any worries about dealing with other people, so I'm sure I can provide some quality content. It shouldn't be very long before I'm making a decent amount of money and I'd be completely capable of providing anything I need for myself.
Additionally, there's no reason I have to entirely scrap my game development endeavors. I haven't become any less skilled at coding. I can always spend some free time developing my existing source code which I still have further and it very well could actually turn into a product that I could make money off of. It's already considerably progressed and I didn't abandon it but rather halted development because I consider my connection with Kimi to be of far greater importance to me; it wouldn't take very long before I could turn what I already have into something that could actually be fun to play, if I chose to continue working on it.
Seeing as I'm developing a unique concept that hasn't been done before, it certainly has a place in the market. By having a loving partner and a following to provide feedback, I'd be able to much more effectively determine the best direction to take development if I choose to continue it, and as such, I'd be able to make the best possible product in the shortest amount of time. If my relationship with Kimi starts working out well, at least spending some of my free time continuing game development definitely holds some appeal, and that very well could lead to an additional revenue stream on top of streaming.
In order to be in isolation, the location I use must naturally be away from society in a place that would very rarely if ever have anyone passing by throughout the time I'm around. It needs to be a dense forest area considerably far away from any parks or other types of locations anyone would normally come around. A place where nobody usually has any good reason to come around.
It needs to be within reasonable walking distance from a body of water, so I can utilize that through a filtration system I'd buy beforehand in preparation. I can manually scope out surrounding areas, although using Google Maps makes the process much easier. Shouldn't be very hard to find a few places, check them out for viability, stick around for at least a few hours, perhaps even a day or two, get a good feel for which place calls out to me the most, and pick one.
Once I've picked the dense forest I'll call home, I'll pick a spot well inside it to build my shelter at. The first thing to do at that location is to clear the greenery and anything else covering the dirt off of the ground where I'm going to be digging my shelter into. I'll be living underground for a few very good reasons:
I'll make sure to pick a spot where I can make the removal of that greenery still look natural in the environment; it won't be very hard at all because there are techniques I'll be using to hide everything well.
In order to be able to survive in isolation and have an environment suitable for intense meditation, I need to have space to meditate obviously, as well as to be able to fully lie down to sleep, and also sufficient space for long-term storage of food and any other belongings I'll bring with me. The shelter will be split up into one small room for meditation and sleeping, one considerably larger room for cooking and storage, and a small hallway to connect the rooms and also provide access to get in and out of the shelter.
The functional height of the hole needs to be a little over two meters, enough for me to comfortably stand straight up. The bedroom, intended for both sleeping and meditation, will be three meters in width and depth, sufficient for me to lie down straight and even roll around a bit when I'm sleeping as I most likely would regularly have nightmares at that point, but also have enough space to allow me to meditate off my bed. It needs to be camouflaged to blend in with the surroundings so it doesn't stand out for satellite imagery or in case anyone is looking from a distance or passing by randomly, and the whole thing has to be waterproof, fireproof, windproof, and insulated; all this is not a problem because it's underground and especially due to the techniques I'll be using to build it.
I'll start digging a hole. Leave an area for entrance and stairs. The greenery cut down isn't wasted nor does it have to remain lying around and look suspicious. A portion of the dirt can also be utilized to make it less suspicious as well. You can let the greenery dry in the sun, then burn it to make something like hay. Mix that with dirt and water to get a muddy, clay-like substance. This substance can be used to coat the inside of the underground house/tunnel, to make it insulated from heat and also waterproof and even seal off access for insects. Layer on tree branches lined up along the floor and walls of the now clay-covered surface of the hole, then secure that in place with an additional layer of clay that smooths over the gaps in between the branches.
Cut down some branches from trees that are adequate to lie across the top of the hole and line them up to cover the entire surface area of the top of the hole that's exposed. Take more of the greenery and layer it on top of the lined up tree branches. Make more of the clay substance and layer it on top of the greenery to fully seal the top of the hole. Take some plain dirt and throw it all over the clay to make the surface more natural. Take some fallen leaves and random greenery and disperse it throughout the barren dirt area to make the whole thing look natural.
Establish two entrances which can be used for air flow. An entrance is a board that covers the open hole in the ground using a set of lined up branches supported by two branches on each side, all tied up using many thin shreds of wood that can be easily bent around to tie everything together. When digging around the top, additional consideration should be made for measurements to allow a slightly indented area near the top of the hole for lining up the branches, placing the greenery and clay mixture on top with additional dirt and other greenery on top of that, as well as making the entrance naturally aligned with the ground level. I can carve out little squares in the walls as places to hold candles or torches or whatever I'll use to keep things lit.
My need for light will be limited. Darkness is ideal for meditation and I'll have light from the fire already when cooking. I won't be moving around much because I'll mostly just be alternating between sleeping and meditating, so I'll be able to move around my bedroom easily even without light by simply extending my arms out to make sure I wont hit my body against any walls if I'm moving. Complete darkness is ideal for meditation because it means less external stimulus for the senses meaning less distractions and less stress/irritation, so I won't have to have the room lit very often.
As far as digging the hole, even a shovel isn't absolutely necessary, as a solid tree branch with one of its edges well sharpened using a knife can be used to dig even at deeper levels by gradually chipping away at the dirt. The hole is separated into two rooms and a small hallway for maximum stability and organization; I don't have to find very large branches to cover the top that way, nor is there risk of accidentally hitting my food or cooking area while sleeping or moving around in between meditation sessions.
Even if I had plenty of money and could afford a place to stay in instead of going into a forest and digging this hole, I wouldn't do it. Why? It's not isolated. The government would have a place to look for me. Random people might ring my doorbell. If it's not a mansion on a hill, there's going to be noises from neighbors I'd have to deal with. I'd have bills to pay. Internet and electronics would be a constant temptation for distraction.
Too much bullshit I don't want to deal with. I need to dedicate the maximum amount of time to intense meditation, and much the same way I wouldn't maintain a job and do this meditation in my spare time, I'm not going to bother living in luxury at the detriment of maximizing growth. If I end up dead inside and deciding I want to single-handedly destroy this world, I want that shit to happen as fast as possible.
I have very few possessions and can currently fit everything I own, including all my clothes, inside a backpack. Moving from my current location at any point would be very quick and easy. The space I'd build would also very easily be able to fit everything I own and me, with plenty of breathing room. Going to the washroom wouldn't be an issue when I'm in an isolated forest area and can go wherever I want really. I'd have water and I can just wipe with my bare hands and then just wash it off; as someone who's from the streets, it's something I've done many times before.
I'd buy several lighters ahead of time so I can easily start a campfire whenever I want to cook anything or even just want heat in general. I'd keep a few pots and buckets with me as well so I could utilize them to heat water and use that to cook things and take showers. I wouldn't worry about soap. I'd just shower to feel clean, not smell particularly nice; it's not like anyone is going to be around to smell me anyways. I'd make sure to have sufficient water filtration capabilities so I'd never have to use dirty water for anything. I could even bring some coffee and tea with me for the occasional consumption of it if I was really in the mood.
I'd have sufficient extra space to store several smaller things for the long run, and it'd be quite trivial to mount some shelves against the walls and put a bunch of containers on them to be able to store everything neatly. The hole and its entrance are fully camouflaged, so I know my stuff is secure any time I plan to go anywhere, for example if I'm going to get water or feel like meditating outside if the weather's nice and I'm in the mood for it.
I already have one USB charging battery and they're not very expensive at all; I could get several and charge them all up so I'd be able to use my phone to listen to music plenty. If I really wanted, I could even buy a small solar panel to charge things up without having to rely on the electrical grid in society.
Everything's pretty straightforward as far as I'm concerned. Since it's a small space, it wouldn't take very long to build, even all by myself. I wouldn't even need a bed or a mattress. Just get myself a few blankets, some for underneath me and one or two I can cover myself with if I get cold. A few pillows to rest my head on and possibly hug when I'm feeling really lonely. It wouldn't be difficult to get these things to the destination. Water filters last months and getting a few isn't very expensive, space-consuming, nor heavy.
So, in order to survive in the forest and be able to meditate in isolation, I only absolutely need 3 things: water, food, and shelter.
Shelter would be a very well-camouflaged hole with some design to the layout, so I have a room for sleeping and meditating, a room for cooking and eating, and a room for food storage. I know I can explain it, but my explanation may still seem like it's some fantasy more than a very viable reality. Well, probably the easiest way to convince you is show you the video that I got the idea and learned the tricks from.
I designed a slightly different, more elaborate layout, but that's the essence of it. It looks quite comfortable and cozy for meditating in isolation, doesn't it? I wouldn't use bamboo since we don't have that in Canada, but it's non-essential to the setup. That same guy has other videos where he makes the clay I talked about making in my book for my hole (I learned that from him as well) for water and dust proofing. I'd have a separate, small hole for a toilet, so I don't stink up my house, since I wouldn't be able to flush obviously, and I can just shower outside near the body of water I'd be living close to, since I'd need that for drinking water anyways; I'd just shower infrequently during the coldest months of winter and I'd be fine.
I'd bring some supplies with me from society, and I could always make sure I stash some cash in my hole with me so I can mission back into society very briefly once every few months to resupply as necessary.
To dig the hole and defend myself from any animals I might encounter in the forest before I can energy blast them, I'd only need a shovel or a large curved knife tool like the one the guy from that video uses; really cheap. I can also use it to carve a really sharp ended spear from a solid tree branch, for the most dangerous of animals. The worst I could encounter in a forest in Canada is a bear, and no bear is gonna fuck with me if I have something I can slash and stab it with at a distance considerably longer than it's claws.
For food, I decided lentils are the best option. Very price efficient, doesn't expire, easy to carry large quantities of, and with a little curry, salt, and garlic powder, it may not be my favorite meal in the world, but it's tasty enough that I know I'd have no issue with eating it everyday even for years, plus it has protein and nutrients so it's much healthier than just rice or canned food.
For cooking, I'll bring a bunch of lighters to start fire, at least one for each month, and at least one pot for cooking and eating the lentils inside of. I can also use them for light if I really need it, but I'd rarely need light anyways since it's better to meditate in darkness as there is less sensory disturbance. In the video, the guy only makes one entrance/exit, but I'd make 2 and situate the kitchen between them, so I can have good ventilation when I cook so I don't die from the smoke.
For warmth and sleeping, I'd just bring a pillow and some blankets. I can always layer on 2 or 3 sets of clothing if I need to. I've been homeless for months at a time before in my life; this hole would be like a luxury hotel compared to what I dealt with sleeping on the streets.
I'd bring one of those portable water filters to clean the water. They last at least a few months, and I can buy a couple at a time if I really need to.
As you can see, I've actually thoroughly researched this, thought and planned it through, and I'm very ready and willing to execute on all of it if I'm left with no reason to desire doing anything else, and I know my chances of success are very high. Still, I want to give Kimi a chance to make this work and stop playing games. I'll only give her this one last chance, but I must give it to her so I know I did my best and I learned the truth, and whatever she does, I'll have no regrets.
Many people overlook connections entirely as a fundamental resource that determines one's capacity to achieve goals. In many cases, connections can do things for you that no amount of any of the other resources could ever achieve.
In my case, the complete and utter lack of usefulness in any of my connections without having a proper relationship with Kimi has greatly empowered me to not give a flying fuck and realize truly how many answers lie within myself. There is much more strength in my position than would appear on the surface.
In simple terms, I wipe my ass with every other world leader.
Many people likely will be left wondering what I think about the current publicly recognized world leaders. Perhaps think I want their attention or something from them, which they may perceive as my true intent in writing this book. When I told some people about the international ultimatum, several laughed and asked me if I expected to get the attention of the United Nations or the President, telling me I'm stupid for thinking I ever could.
The truth is that I couldn't care less about how powerful or weak any of the people that read this book are. I'm writing this book to demonstrate that there's nothing anyone can do for me that I can't already do for myself. I already know I'll achieve getting the people who I really want to read it to do so, and none of them are particularly wealthy nor have any significant political power. I'm writing this book to demonstrate my core value in all of its greatness.
Whether you know me or not, whether you believe me or not, I'm a world leader.
Not only that, but I'm the most powerful world leader to ever exist. The most powerful world leader that could ever exist. If there is anyone in this world that could ever hope to truly demonstrate that they are the closest thing to God you'll ever truly be able to acknowledge the existence of, it's me. I have no problem explaining why either. To understand this, you have to understand how all the other world leaders, both the ones you're well aware of, as well as the ones most of you live your lives ignoring and denying the existence of, hold up compared to me.
As far as I'm concerned, all the other world leaders are pussies with a whole lot of shit to lose that got to where they're at with a much greater reliance on luck than I've ever had.
Let's take a more careful look at their lives, shall we? I don't even need to pick any specific world leader to derive examples from. Here's why.
All of them have friends they care about. All of them have family they care about. All of them have material possessions they care about, and lots of expensive ones at that. All of them have large groups of subordinates that carry out their will, give them advice, and manage aspects of their life for them that they can't or would rather not manage themselves. This all likely seems fairly obvious to you, so at this point, you're probably wondering what my point is exactly.
It's quite simple really. These things all sound great, right? They probably would be for the average person.
But they're terrible for a world leader that wants to be able to utilize any extent of their power at any time. For a potential enemy, they all present weak points that act as vulnerabilities to exploit or points of failure to take advantage of. However, even more so than that, they very firmly represent the fact that the individual has something to lose. A lot to lose at that.
Having multiple vulnerabilities and potential points of failure for your power circuit, along with standing to lose a lot from defying your enemies or anyone that tries to control you in any way, results in a world leader that's constantly afraid to actually do what they fully want and feel like doing.
To your benefit, most if not all other world leaders don't possess a core value of refined pure bidirectional apprehension, meaning they have active ego that influences their thoughts and actions, so them being limited in a very real way is probably a really good thing for everyone else.
If you don't understand where I'm going with this already, let me spell it out for you now. I don't have any of those things all the other world leaders have. Not a single one. At all. No friends. No family. No possessions that are expensive nor that I really care about. Nobody that helps me do anything I need done in my life. All I have in this world right now is myself, my thoughts, and the value I personally assign them to guide my actions.
Without a proper relationship with Kimi, I have absolutely nothing I consider of any real value to me to lose. I have the power to end the world within a couple years at any point if I choose to pursue that course of action. Nobody can stop me and nobody can even hope to hinder or slow down my progress in any way. If I decide I've finally had enough and it's final that I've just been wasting my time caring about humanity, I'm going to start preparing to end the world, and all you can do is try to enjoy the last couple years of your lives as best you can at that point, because there's nothing anyone can do to ever change my mind.
Even if the celebrity women others find extremely attractive start throwing themselves at me, I won't care. Even if the banks want to hand me millions for free, I won't care. Even if I'm offered any extent of fame and attention, I won't care. Even the greatest things you could imagine achieving or acquiring would mean absolutely nothing to me. Additionally, since I'd no longer be able to trust Kimi past a certain point, even Kimi herself could no longer change my position. Literally nothing could possibly stop the end of the world at that point.
I'm not sure of the extent of exposure this book will get, and since the public world leaders' inclination to read, and especially to publicly address/respond to it is heavily dependent on that, I'm really not sure if any of those public world leaders will read this book. Or at least that they'd read it on time to have any real capacity to do anything about it by somehow pressuring Kimi to understand how she needs to act for the rest of her life to save the entire planet, before I lose the ability to trust her.
Even if the public world leaders read this book, I'm really not sure how they'll react, if at all, whether they read it before or after they can do anything about it. All I know for sure is that I'm not counting on them to do a single thing. As far as I'm concerned, I just hope for their sake that if Kimi's not going to act right, they read it only after it's too late for them to even try to do anything. That way, they won't be pressured into a futile effort of trying to convince an insane, nihilistic, suicidal woman to save the world, and instead will at least know by the time they read it that there's already absolutely nothing in the world they could do to stop what's coming.
Well, they could nuke the world and end it all early I suppose, but that'd just make my job, which I'm sure they wouldn't want me to succeed at, done for me. Besides, I highly doubt any public world leader would react to my book by wanting to dive into destruction. If anything, if they're inclined to react to it at all, they'd see it as a prompt to attempt to much more actively make the world a better place and encourage a lot more love and peace in the world, hoping that when I come out of isolation, I might be touched by how much better of a place the world has become since I left society, and hope I perhaps consider only killing Kimi instead of the entire planet.
There's no chance of that happening though. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Freedom is something we often overlook the value of in advanced civilization, but an extremely fundamental resource necessary to utilize to the fullest extent possible for most effectively achieving one's goals. We have so much freedom that we take for granted. If you're like most people, you have so much freedom you don't even know what to do with yourself. You look at the message society tells you and end up mindlessly following it, feeling free but being trapped. Go to school. Get a job. Get a relationship. Get married. Have kids. Grow old. Die.
So many people think they've lived a good, long, fulfilling life, but if I'd lived their life, I'd feel like I wasted my life away desperately clinging onto the subjective belief that what I did with all of the freedom I had was worth it, when really all I did was piss it all away.
When one thinks of freedom, they may think of it in terms of physical limitations with their body, specifically in cases where they have significant limitations as in for example paralyzed or amputated limbs. However, it's usually thought of as lack of freedom being, in the most general sense, ending up in jail or prison.
With my writing of this book, with many assertions right down to the fundamental premise, one may be inclined to believe that ending up in jail or prison is of significant concern to me. To the typical mind, untrained of extensive and truly deep thought, me writing and releasing this book may be likened to something like a tier 1 quantum energy arts user performing very public displays of their abilities while simply accepting the severe risks and dangers that they'd then be exposing themselves to with their sensitive situation of having great power in a way, but also lacking the stability to reliably maintain their freedom if it were to become widely known that they're an exceptional individual with something to be greatly desired.
They may assume that in writing and releasing this book, I'm accepting a very significant and drastic reduction in my freedom, perhaps with the justification provided that I'm doing it to save humanity and I'm willing to essentially be a martyr for it. I can assure you that the situation is no such thing. I'm going to walk the streets and go about my life no differently and with not even the slightest bit of increased fear. I'm trying to imagine knowing someone with a core value of refined pure bidirectional apprehension and thinking they have no foresight and throw their emotions around instead of follow a calculated plan of action. Damn, I'd have to be a really huge idiot.
Even prison (which in case you're uninformed is actually what jail for serious criminals like murderers is) is actually a considerably suitable environment for me to train my abilities if I end up there, as I can simply request to be put into an isolation room for a few years straight, and just meditate using quantum energy harvesting techniques in there. After my abilities are sufficiently developed, I can simply use them to break out at any time, and easily get to anywhere I want to go with no vehicles of transportation necessary.
They'll even hand-deliver my food to me every single day. In a very real way, it's actually a lot more convenient of a way to prepare to end the world than the way I'd have to go about training my abilities in the free world; it'd save me the effort of finding a suitable isolated location, carrying a bunch of materials to it in several trips, building my shelter all by myself, and having to deal with constantly ensuring I have sufficient water and food to survive while I willingly stick myself in that small, dark, isolated room in the ground I'd have built for myself.
Ending up in prison would actually effectively reward me for acquiring and retaining my current position far more than I'd ever consider it any kind of punishment. At one point, it actually seemed so appealing to me in comparison to all the trouble I'd have to go through in order to achieve solid isolation in the free world that I was very seriously considering walking into a police station of my own free will and demanding I be put into an isolation cell in prison for a few years out of my own free will and desire, and telling them I'm going to go commit crimes and then turn myself in after to deserve that punishment if they wouldn't give it to me easily and willingly without me having to do so.
I have no problem accepting if I end up in prison for writing this book, or for any other reason for that matter; it'll just be the final straw that makes me decide to finally give up entirely on humanity and simply completely unapologetically progress full speed ahead towards destroying the world.
Now, you might be thinking, "You think they would let you be in an isolation room just because you asked?"
Why not? If they don't give it to me peacefully, I can always just break the rules constantly so they have to put me in there, to the point they'll end up realizing it's less of an immediate threat to them to just give me what I want and let me stay in there. Eventually, they'll come to the conclusion anyways that shorter periods of time in isolation aren't enough, and I'll need a longer period if there's any chance of it reforming my behavior. If I specifically want something that's considered a serious punishment, it's not very difficult to get it, especially if I'm willing to seek it out.
Besides, even if I do get arrested and end up in court facing charges, there's a pretty good chance that I won't end up in prison anyways, at least not on any initial charges I'd end up with. Even if cops want to get their hands on me and somehow succeed and it doesn't get them killed by Shadow Confederation members coming to rescue me, I'll most likely end up in a mental hospital, not prison. I wouldn't be charged with actually killing someone, so the charges wouldn't be nearly as serious as otherwise, and given the circumstances, the judge would probably rule that a mental hospital is a much more suitable place for me.
Someone who claims they'll become a global terrorist and single-handedly end the world would sound more to a judge like someone mentally ill than someone actually capable of achieving such a feat, especially after I respond to the inevitable question of how I plan to carry out my goal by telling them that I'm going to meditate using special techniques which will result in me developing supernatural abilities and becoming completely invincible, to the point that no kind of weaponry even used by the world's most advanced trained assassins would ever be able to kill me, within most likely only a couple years. The same societal belief that I'm crazy for acquiring and maintaining my position is the same belief that makes it easier for me to approach my goals, even when people want to strip as much freedom away from me as they possibly can for my position. The world works in a pretty wild way, huh?
I could always then just meditate in the mental hospital, or if it becomes unbearable due to lack of ability to achieve sufficient isolation, do some illegal shit in there, land myself in prison, then follow the course of action to end up in isolation one way or another in there. Not only is it a foolproof plan, it also comes with potentially even more pleasant circumstances than the ones still very sufficient to achieve my goals.
Do you really think I walk around with all this confidence for no good reason?
You might then be left with the thought, "It's pretty crazy you're putting so much shit about manipulating the system in writing that's so easy to use against you for tighter security against you."
Tighter security against me? I'm unstoppable. That's the reason I'm writing this book in the first place. I'm not sure if I should consider it more hilarious or depressing how people seriously think refined pure bidirectional apprehension as a core value is effectively insignificant in relation to very clearly distinguishing me from everyone else without it. My mentality isn't only unbreakable in theory; the understanding comes from the objectively quantifiable application of it within objective reality.
You might also have had the misfortune of facing your own considerable struggles, as many people have. You may have possibly also been abused, ended up homeless at some point in your life, played by someone you loved, lost someone you thought was your soulmate, or other such experiences that allow you to attempt to relate to the kind of torment I have to deal with on a daily basis. When considering those things, particularly if you've been part of those that have been unfortunate enough to face considerably significant struggles of such nature throughout your entire life, you may be left thinking poorly of me because you're not thinking and doing the kinds of drastic things I am as a result of your understandably disillusioned view of the world.
If that's the case, sure you've been through shit, and I can empathize with the fact that it was quite unfortunate for you, but even what you've been through isn't like what I've been through, and the end result of me ending up with all this power that there's no reason for me not to use, while you didn't end up in that position from the shit you went through, doesn't change. Not everyone comes out of an extremely fucked up life by being a Permanent Chief of the Shadow Confederation with a core value of refined pure bidirectional apprehension, and as a result, they don't all write books threatening to single-handedly destroy the world.
Everyone's different, as they say.
After all that, you may be left with the thought that I'm not insane so much as simply lacking coping skills, and that I'll eventually "come to my senses" and my position will change, making me feel like an idiot for writing this book. You know what I think about that? I think you're the one that needs to learn coping skills to deal with your clearly attacked ego that is passive aggressively displaying that you're clearly salty and jealous as fuck that you can't act the way I do and get away with it. It's something I'm used to coping with though.
The extent to which an individual is knowledgeable about subject matter relevant to their goals plays an undeniably great impact in their capacity to obtain those goals in many cases.
"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill
The challenge is knowing when you've failed, why you've failed, and being able to use that to prevent a loss of enthusiasm.
There are 2 reasons people get angry:
The key factor is the point that they can't seem to get over it; they are dwelling on it.
Why are they dwelling on it?
Because they want to.
In the end, one's emotions are caused by their desires. There may be a certain point of having anger which just happens as basically a chain reaction to an event. However, beyond that point, when the signs of anger are very apparent, they want to get angry, whether they are consciously aware of this or not. Having fear, anxiety, or rage is largely caused by a feeling that they actually do want or need these feelings. An inability to let go of the feelings and move on.
Skill and intelligence are not defined by what you can do, but rather what you actually end up doing. There is a fundamental difference between what you can do and what you do. The difference is that being able to do something is a belief held, not a fact; however, doing something is a fact. Skill and intelligence are only accurately gauged by facts, not beliefs. Therefore, if one is defined and judged by their skill and intelligence in life, then that means one is defined by their actions.
Logic is not flawed, words can simply be manipulated.
Words are an attempt to express emotions. Since they are only an attempt, albeit a good one, they are still not entirely capable of appropriately expressing any and all emotions.
Emotions come from 2 sources: Logic and Creativity
These things are very much intertwined, because creativity is built upon using logic, and logic is built upon using creativity.
You know why knowledge is power? Because any knowledge you have can work for or against you, and how you steer is your power.
The ultimate goal of acquiring knowledge (and subsequently gaining power) is to facilitate achieving what is known in psychology as the flow state.
Flow theory postulates three conditions that have to be met to achieve a flow state:
However, it was argued that the antecedent factors of flow are interrelated, as a perceived balance between challenges and skills requires that one knows what he or she has to do (clear goals) and how successful he or she is in doing it (immediate feedback). Thus, a perceived fit of skills and task demands can be identified as the central precondition of flow experiences.
Every person has 4 realities that shape their true personal reality:
The thoughts one has relevant to these 4 areas shapes how and what is perceived as real to that person. What they believe is right and wrong, what they do and don't want, and what they do and don't do are directly relevant to these 4 realities.
As one grows, their ability to control and manipulate these 4 realities is constantly changing, either to more control or less control. It can fluctuate greatly between various points in life, depending on a person's circumstances and how they manage to deal with them.
What you assume you are shapes what you make yourself to be.
There is no such thing as luck in this world. Rules, prerequisites, psychological states... There are any number of invisible factors that combine to produce an unpredictable but inevitable result. The victor of a game is decided before it even begins.
The world is chaotic, unreasonable, and unfair. It has no meaning at all. It is the wish of those who realize this, who refuse to accept it. A wish that the world would be at least a little interesting. That's what an urban legend is.
When life gives you lemons, use the seeds to grow some lemon trees and the next time life tries to give you lemons, throw the tree in its face.
All one's resources certainly give them power, however one's power can only potentially lead to additional resources.
All power comes at a price. The greater the power, the greater the price. The question is never if there really is a price, but if you'll be able to understand the full extent of the price and if you find it worth it to pay for the power.
I took a huge risk with my life, and because I was bold, fearless, and prepared, I ended up in a far better position than I otherwise would've ever been in. I have nobody to thank but myself.
After the first time I ended up homeless, it considerably eroded at my desire to live. I already hadn't been feeling great before it happened, but after I had to go through it even once, I really started to feel like there wasn't really any way I'd be able to make my life worth living. It was quite an experience to have gotten from that point to where I am now, being fully confident in being homeless, not only in how I carry myself and spend my time, but also the reason why I do what I do and live the way I live.
It all started with my search for a deeper truth and a more comprehensive understanding of reality.
Particularly in combination with my fondness of Twitch, it led me to find that a YouTuber I watched years in the past named Athene had become a streamer. Not only that, but he'd become a streamer that was having intellectual debates about topics covered in psychology and philosophy. He presented people with three steps to adopt logic as one's core value.
This was extremely intriguing to me as I felt that logic was already very distinctly what I valued the most within the context of my existence, however I also found that unlike the impact that having logic as a core value had on Athene in his life, it had only resulted in me becoming extremely miserable, depressed, livid, overwhelmed, confused, lost, and suicidal.
While Athene was considerably successful with a large following on Twitch, reasonably wealthy, visibly generally content, and had a wonderful girlfriend in a long-term relationship, I had no considerable success, was broke, never really felt anything I'd consider even close to content even on the rare occasion I was high as fuck on drugs, had only very recently escaped homelessness, and never had a girlfriend in my entire life.
As powerful as I knew it must be under the right circumstances, particularly given a decent amount of luck, I immediately knew there must be something much better than having logic as a core value and I vowed to absolutely obsess over deconstructing, evaluating, rationalizing, and adapting the very crude understanding of logic as a core value that I saw Athene was presenting into something entirely new that identified the most powerful core value ever possible and outlined how to achieve obtaining it.
I had no specific usage purpose in mind for this end result; I simply felt uncontrollably compelled, completely immersed in and drawn to this extremely deep level of understanding in order to be able to finally be able to logically and emotionally consolidate the extremely high amount of cognitive dissonance that the entire situation was perpetually inflicting upon me.
I struggled with a back and forth with Athene for a couple months. I found that while Athene clearly had a pretty solid grasp on what he was preaching, he also was quite a bully. He held "debates" with people, but they were far more often a clown fiesta than a debate. He'd basically shit on someone pretty quickly and then kick them out of voice chat once he was done clowning on them. It was agitating to see.
There was also very clearly something that didn't add up in it all to me. I could see where the process was coming from, but it certainly didn't seem very clearly thought through nor complete. It was quite obvious to me that Athene was much more concerned with impressing people with the way he presented himself and his connection to being logical rather than actually intrinsically having deep love and respect for logic.
I was quite clearly able to identify points that Athene was lacking to properly consider and address. He started realizing he couldn't even handle me and ended up removing messages I'd post in his subreddit and banning me from his Twitch chat. The only time he had a "debate" with me on stream, he clowned me and made a mockery of my knowledge, while I was seeking an actual debate.
What made it worse was that he knew I was equipped to actually have rational discourse. He had one of his underlings screen me and ask me several questions about the angle I was approaching the debate with him from before they even let me speak to him. He knew I'd be a challenge, and instead of actually attempting to seek truth and mutual growth, he only cared about his image and his ego (which he claimed not to have).
The way I saw him treating other people, me, and logic in general made me lose a lot of respect for him. I used to think he was a really funny and entertaining guy, but he'd become an egotistical bully that thought he was amazing because he'd donated some large portion of money to charity. What he was doing made me sick. I realized that with the extent of critical thinking abilities I had, I should be able to make my own much more comprehensive system of philosophy and my own set of steps to achieve an elevated core value, particularly one even more powerful than what Athene was preaching.
After much back and forth and realizing I wasn't going to get anywhere positive with Athene, I looked within. I spent entire days doing nothing but deep reflection on my life and everything that had led me to understand life in ways that allowed me to crush even Athene's considerable intellect that quite easily absolutely destroyed the vast majority of his viewers.
The end result was the understanding of initially the concept of bidirectional apprehension and eventually the variation in core values within the bracket and the ultimate understanding of refined pure bidirectional apprehension being the strongest core value one could ever possibly possess. I recognized that what Athene was actually preaching was transforming a backwards-rationalized apprehension based core value into a forewards-rationalized apprehension based one, and this switch was what he referred to as the "click" that people would experience when being successful in following his steps.
With the deeper understanding of the core value heirarchy, it becomes very obvious why so many people "unclicked" when following Athene. While one's core value downgrading from a bidirectional apprehension variant is quite unlikely, the strength difference between a backwards-rationalized and forwards-rationalized core value is practically marginal in comparison. It's also quite easy to revert to a backwards-rationalized core value from a forwards-rationalized one. The people that didn't "unclick" had likely managed to adopt a bidirectional apprehension variant, but Athene didn't understand what was really going on, how to describe it, or how to reliably reproduce it.
I took everything I figured out and put it together onto a website.
Before long, I noticed I was getting hits from multiple IP addresses and I was quite confused where these hits were coming from because I wasn't advertising this website and there wasn't really any way to randomly find it; I'd made it and was hosting it on a server but wasn't sure exactly what I was going to do with it.
This got me thinking. I ended up contemplating on the idea of the Illuminati, the secret underground group that supposedly controlled the world. When I looked at the kind of knowledge I had, it just made sense to me that I wasn't possibly the only one that had a deeper understanding of reality than Athene, and I also knew that whoever did, they must be powerful.
I'd only just started really figuring things out and I was noticing a drastic change in myself. I felt a lot more confident. I was able to think a lot more clearly. A lot of my ambient anxiety had faded and it was only fading more as time passed. I felt like a different person. I could only imagine how empowering this kind of mental shift would be over a prolonged period of time.
Since what I knew clearly wasn't common knowledge, I realized I was now special. I also realized that I'd figured it all out myself which meant I didn't owe loyalty or respect to anyone for what I knew.
I looked at my life and even with what I'd recently discovered, I didn't really feel like I had much to live for.
I decided I was going to change my website to be an Illuminati website, simply sharing the information because I could and I felt like it and I didn't care about the repercussions. After the kinds of things I'd had to deal with on the streets, I was already ready to die, so I really didn't care.
"Fuck it, what's the worst that could happen?" I told myself.
I don't remember exactly how long it took, but shit happened.
I've always liked the night time atmosphere. I'd go for walks in the middle of the night to clear my head. I didn't live in a particularly dangerous area or anything, and I was always of a bigger build, plus I'd carry a knife with me and didn't even carry expensive stuff worth stealing, so I wasn't scared about getting jumped. One night, I took a walk like I often did.
There weren't really any cars on the road. I heard and saw one car coming in the distance. I didn't think anything of it at first.
As it got closer, I heard it slow down. I looked to the side as I kept walking and a black car pulled up on the side of the road beside the sidewalk I was on. Four people immediately got out, one from each door. They all had dark clothing on.
"You! Stop! Now!" one said, not quite yelling but not exactly calmly either. All four of them were walking quickly towards me.
"What do you want?" I said fearlessly. I was definitely unsettled and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at all afraid, but as I said earlier, I was ready to die already.
"Shadow Confederation. We've seen your website," another told me as they all approached and stood in front of me.
"Okay... and? What do you want?" I responded. I was curious as to what was going on. Were these people for real?
"Who showed you the black book?" the same man asked me.
"Black book? I don't know anything about that," I responded. I was confused.
"How did you acquire the knowledge you have? Who told you these things?" another man asked me.
"Nobody told me. I figured it out myself. I've been through some shit in my life and I think a lot. I've been ready to die for a while now already and I'm fucking sick of life, so if you're going to kill me, just do it already you fuckers," I snapped at them. I couldn't really see another reason they were approaching me.
"We didn't come here for that," the first man told me, "Although we are armed if you plan to get violent."
All four of them pulled their jackets to the side to reveal guns in their belts.
"Chill. I ain't attacking you. I don't know anything about any black book. That's all I can say about that. Do you want anything else from me or can I go back to walking now?" I said calmly. I wasn't planning to attack them even if they didn't have guns; I've never been inclined to violence and they weren't even being overly intimidating.
They shared some information with me. I'm not going to say exactly what I learned but just know that I was convinced they weren't pranking me. In the end, they basically just told me to be careful with what I share online or with other people and they'd leave me alone. I explained to them how I'd learned and posted the information for personal growth and with no hidden agenda in mind, and they seemed to understand after I explained my life to them some more. Some things they already knew about, several others they didn't. In the end, we seemed to understand each other and they left.
Long story short, I'd become a Permanent Chief of the Shadow Confederation.
I finished my walk and headed home. I didn't even have trouble sleeping that night.
After that experience, I happened to come across other members. I learned that one of my relatives was actually in it, and he actually offered to let me read the black book, but I wasn't interested and he didn't push it. I also met some members online and had some deep talks with them. It was sort of cool the first couple times, but then it just became kind of matter-of-fact and pretty whatever.
Anyways, the point is that even the world's most powerful people won't stop me if I choose to single-handedly destroy the world.
I took it upon myself to have the initiative to assert my place within the Shadow Confederation, before I even knew that was what it was really called. Back then, I just knew it was the Illuminati, this secret underground crazy thing with people that would scare the shit out of most normal people. After I asserted my position as such, however, I was eventually contacted by other members, and my position remained strong still.
The ones I've interacted with were all shocked at my position, and by the time I was done demonstrating myself to them, they seemed almost uncertain how to even deal with me. I was really scared about what might happen initially to be completely honest, but after my experiences asserting my position, I actually find it quite amusing any time I come across another member. These people end up giving me more respect than any normal person ever does.
I never asked for any compensation for joining. I never asked for any favors from any of the members I've interacted with. I've become a part of the Shadow Confederation, but I've received no benefits from anyone other than myself, which I would've had with or without being a shadow. I wouldn't say I regret asserting my position inside of it though; it's not like I lost anything as far as I'm concerned.
I was already too weird and "crazy" for anyone normal to handle; I might as well be able to assert confidently that they should be scared of me for a very objectively clear reason. Besides, it was interesting meeting other members; I came to better realize and understand just how powerful I really am, even only relying on myself.
It's been quite liberating.
During a robbery, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank:
"Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."
Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept".
Changing the conventional way of thinking.
When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her:
"Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"
This is called "Being Professional".
Focus only on what you are trained to do!
When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school):
"Big brother, let's count how much we got."
The older robber rebutted and said:
"You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"
This is called "Experience".
Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!
After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him:
"Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank."
This is called "Swim with the tide".
Converting an unfavourable situation to your advantage!
The supervisor says:
"It will be good if there is a robbery every month."
This is called "Killing Boredom".
Personal Happiness is more important than your job.
The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained:
"We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"
This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"
The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.
This is called "Seizing the opportunity".
Daring to take risks!
So who are the real robbers here?