On Aug 4, 2021, I finished serving my 13.5 month sentence for the first public revision of The Black Book. On Nov 11, 2021, it reached what is hopefully not its final revision. The willingness and desire to not only retain but even intensify the extreme and unwavering severity of my position if Kimi won't spend her life with me properly was only fortified by the experience. Think this is a joke?! Think again!!
» Formal leading statement. Provides updates on the latest status of the situation, utilizing additional evidence. Last updated January 16, 2022.
» Formal warning of retribution. Provides core evidence & more detail on why I may end up doing quantum energy harvesting meditation intensely in isolation & exacting The Great Retribution.

ILL

The problem with modern psychology and modern philosophy is that their ultimate goal is to facilitate the generation of revenue. To make money. Psychology pushes pills and philosophy pushes books. Neither of them push truly concretely intellectually grounded and fundamentally understood maturity and critical thinking.

I never wanted to be a writer. I still don't want to be a writer. I highly doubt I'll ever start wanting to be a writer in the future. Still, I've been told more than once that I'm an extremely good writer, and I've written far more than most people will likely ever write in their entire lives. I also did it with absolutely zero monetary or ego-driven incentive.

There's very good reason this book always has been and will be completely free. This field is one not of money, but of truth. I call it "philopsychology". You can call it "the art of not being a jackass airhead dipshit". I think the second one sounds cooler.

Make no mistake, this book is indeed a book and not some arts and crafts project. And it's as serious as non-fiction gets. If you're one of the pretentious jackasses in the criminal justice system, try calling it a "manifesto" and saying I "copied most of it from the internet" in your synopsis now. See what happens to you.

Whoever you are, although you probably already don't respect me much if at all, I still have enough maturity to recognize that if you have half a brain, you recognize your time is valuable to you. You probably believe you have plenty of time and perhaps no real reason or desire for things like:

And I understand where you're coming from. This reeking dumpster fire called Earth is an absolute piece of shit that will constantly relentlessly assault your mental state and physical facilities until it sucks your soul out and throws it into the pit. You're probably better off being a massive piece of shit; something I had the misfortune of learning in the most brutal way I could ever imagine.

Regardless, despite the great usefulness and appeal of a more straightforward linguistic approach which is utilized throughout the rest of this book, I'd like to start with a poem that paints a bit of a clearer picture what kind of person writes a several hundred page book focused around a field of study that has no formal recognition in modern curriculum in any of the traditional avenues of learning.

What kind of person it takes to be a Permanent Chief of the Shadow Confederation with a core value of refined pure bidirectional apprehension.

I call this poem "ILL".

Done hard time, still won't be branding
On my feet but plane's not landing
Heart shot out, I'm still standing
All shooters are too demanding

No fear to kill attempted killers
Guilt-tripped to hell, saint among sinners
Gaslit arson, not by beginners
Now burn my ashes?! You're the winners?!
In my dining room?! You're Satan's dinners!!

Gave so much love, my only cuff
But just got hurt, time to be tough
No friends, no partner, not much stuff
Just pain and hatred?! You'll see enough!!

Used to want love, not anymore
World showed extents of that error
So, you hate me? Settle the score
Actually, fuck that, I'll hate you more
Seen death stand too long at my door
Now karma's my bitch, the world its whore
Bad luck familiar to my core
Warnings were there, but y'all ignore
Reap what you sow, prick's paramour
Not bowing yet?! Drop to the floor!!

So, I'm a tool?! View's more than rough!!
Ponder my plan, remove the scuff
Grab my girl Tina, next big puff
Sober as hell, mental still buff

Got a stick, a different piece
Quantum energy arts gives different peace

Done 2 bits, next'd be much longer
Never changing. Wrong? You're wronger
Unbreakable; watch, nothing's stronger

Cell been locked, old battery
Circuit break, off grid I'm free

Went in a year, already did life
Probation 3 years? Bitch is my wife
Government's ass, meet my knife

Forest wardens? I'll do drugs
Bang some whores and deal with thugs
Got some time to make spark plugs
Then isolation, then dream of hugs

Never belonged, I'm gutted, oh well
I'm mentally ill? Whatchu know, hold this L

Evaluated, docs scared the whole way
Lectures and homework, they'd call what I'd say

Refined pure bidirectional apprehension
Half what I know, that's a new dimension
There's a lot beyond your comprehension
Driving, no breaks, the fuck is suspension
No license to force my utmost retention
Ripped the roof off, just got detention
Wrote a whole book, wanted penetention
Fear that shit? Naw, what's next to mention?

New charges, existence restricted
Shit "evidence", still got convicted
Framed? Past charges get inflicted
Broken system, neck constricted
Rip that snake's head off, predicted
Just the start, torture's depicted

Touching road, not going back
Hatred way stronger than the stack
My focus could be rack on rack
But my core value is on track

I'll break these chains, escape the cage
Holding the key, unleash my rage
If life's a book, been on my page
Get on my level or off the stage

No, you can't read me like a book
But you can try, then get more shook
Wise not to judge by how things look
But from the knowledge that it took
To become king from pawn then rook

Judge mocked when I said COVID's coming
Sees me now? You bet he's running
Been like him? You gon' get something
Heart too cold for simply gunning
You gon' feel soul you've been shunning
Priced your sins, you can't be bumming
Paid my dues, not being cunning

Been a cold world, but don't believe me
Not even once, I had it easy
Know in my shoes, you're more than queasy
My life's a bitch, she's more than squeezy
You think I'm ill? My ears ain't breezy
Others' poor judgments, they disease me

Downers make me sad and tired
Uppers' happy's fake and wired

Hate's the only drug with voice
Love leaves me dead without a choice
No high to chase, rejoice
Life's what you make of it?
Why keep sitting in your death's poise?!

Torture fills my head and heart
Time you get the given from the start
Your lack of reason left me marked
I don't need this art
Just wish your death wish left so we don't part

Now I'm just left with reason, from your treason
To isolate, I'll meditate, become so great
Billions of you vs one of me's on

I guarantee you'll never see someone like me
Real aims decree what one can be
Life's monarchy? I'll change the tree
So you cause hurt for free, but my pain's silly, huh?

Family, friends, platforms, even cops can't save you
Enemies, ends, my scars derange too

You're all that? Tough? Think I'm a clown, ey?
Oh, but you can't say what I say?
Reality, bitch, come check the highway
Not my way, what I say just shows my miles cray

Paints a picture, my book's cover
Blood, sweat, tears, and rage are color
Sky's the limit? I'm above her
Fucking her brains out and killing her lover
Stay in the clouds? You only hover
Just a crash landing to discover
I rose so high from way down under
"I'm so angel"? I'm so dumber
Forgive? Forget? Go ask your brother
What are you to steal my thunder?!

Beat me up and leave me hated?!
Locked up a while, but can't get gated!
No repeats, truth's been well stated
I'm smart, know the mess I've created
You think I'm eliminated?
Fool, nothing leaves me castrated!!
Smart? You're jealous and got baited!

Your logic's trash, mine's more than good
I could be better? Could?! YOU SHOULD!!
You called the FBI? Withstood
Even those schmucks, they understood

Respect the law? Think you're between it?
Naw, I'm above and you're beneath it
Enlightened, not frightened, you haven't seen it
Case took 3 Crowns, they believe it
2 went missing, third just cleared it

Hide in plain sight, not even trying
But have you seen me once denying?
An open book, but you're still prying
Spine won't snap, this book's not dying
Crying? Shying? I'm not buying
Shit life taught me, I'm applying

Don't get me wrong. Forgiveness is very important, where appropriate, if for no other reason than mental stability. There are many people I've had to forgive for many things, as much as I might not have wanted to.

However, some things I'm deeply unwilling to forgive, and those are only ones where I truly shouldn't have to. Where it makes no sense. Where the person was extremely brutal and heartless and completely unapologetic about it to the very bitter end. Where what happened was so royally fucked up that the person not only doesn't deserve it, but also made it self-destructive for me to do so. Where forgiveness will invariably lead to suicide due to the resulting severe lack of self-respect that such forgiveness entails.

Maturity is extremely important. Forgiveness definitely can be a part of it, but self-respect is even more important. Lack of self-respect will always eventually lead to lack of desire to live (regardless of whether or not it's consciously noticed), which will never lead to a very mature mindset no matter how you may twist it.

It's extremely easy to judge me. I'd just suggest you don't forget that your judgment of me can make it extremely easy for me to make a judgment of you as well.

Whether or not you care...? Well, of course, that's entirely up to you.

Do you really care about life? We'll see. The answer for most, whether they like it or not, is no.

Are you any different? It probably comforts you to think so, but you're probably wrong.

At least you might have a chance to change.