The problem with modern psychology and modern philosophy is that their ultimate goal is to facilitate the generation of revenue. To make money. Psychology pushes pills and philosophy pushes books. Neither of them push truly concretely intellectually grounded and fundamentally understood maturity and critical thinking.
I never wanted to be a writer. I still don't want to be a writer. I highly doubt I'll ever start wanting to be a writer in the future. Still, I've been told more than once that I'm an extremely good writer, and I've written far more than most people will likely ever write in their entire lives. I also did it with absolutely zero monetary or ego-driven incentive.
There's very good reason this book always has been and will be completely free. This field is one not of money, but of truth. I call it "philopsychology". You can call it "the art of not being a jackass airhead dipshit". I think the second one sounds cooler.
Make no mistake, this book is indeed a book and not some arts and crafts project. And it's as serious as non-fiction gets. If you're one of the pretentious jackasses in the criminal justice system, try calling it a "manifesto" and saying I "copied most of it from the internet" in your synopsis now. See what happens to you.
Whoever you are, although you probably already don't respect me much if at all, I still have enough maturity to recognize that if you have half a brain, you recognize your time is valuable to you. You probably believe you have plenty of time and perhaps no real reason or desire for things like:
And I understand where you're coming from. This reeking dumpster fire called Earth is an absolute piece of shit that will constantly relentlessly assault your mental state and physical facilities until it sucks your soul out and throws it into the pit. You're probably better off being a massive piece of shit; something it appears I will end up seeing I had the misfortune of learning in the most brutal way I could ever imagine.
Regardless, despite the great usefulness and appeal of a more straightforward linguistic approach which is utilized throughout the rest of this book, I'd like to start with a poem that paints a bit of a clearer picture what kind of person writes a several hundred page book focused around a field of study that has no formal recognition in modern curriculum in any of the traditional avenues of learning.
What kind of person it takes to be a Permanent Chief of the Shadow Confederation with a core value of refined pure bidirectional apprehension.
I call this poem "ILL".
Done hard time, still won't be branding On my feet but plane's not landing Heart shot out, I'm still standing All shooters are too demanding No fear to kill attempted killers Guilt-tripped to hell, saint among sinners Gaslit arson, not by beginners Now burn my ashes?! You're the winners?! In my dining room?! You're Satan's dinners!! Gave so much love, my only cuff But just got hurt, time to be tough No friends, no partner, not much stuff Just pain and hatred?! You'll see enough!! Used to want love, not anymore World showed extents of that error So, you hate me? Settle the score Actually, fuck that, I'll hate you more Seen death stand too long at my door Now karma's my bitch, the world its whore Bad luck familiar to my core Warnings were there, but y'all ignore Reap what you sow, prick's paramour Not bowing yet?! Drop to the floor!! So, I'm a tool?! View's more than rough!! Ponder my plan, remove the scuff Grab my girl Tina, next big puff Sober as hell, mental still buff Got a stick, a different piece Quantum energy arts gives different peace Done 2 bits, next'd be much longer Never changing. Wrong? You're wronger Unbreakable; watch, nothing's stronger Cell been locked, old battery Circuit break, off grid I'm free Went in a year, already did life Probation 3 years? Bitch is my wife Government's ass, meet my knife Forest wardens? I'll do drugs Bang some whores and deal with thugs Got some time to make spark plugs Then isolation, then dream of hugs Never belonged, I'm gutted, oh well I'm mentally ill? Whatchu know, hold this L Evaluated, docs scared the whole way Lectures and homework, they'd call what I'd say Refined pure bidirectional apprehension Half what I know, that's a new dimension There's a lot beyond your comprehension Driving, no breaks, the fuck is suspension No license to force my utmost retention Ripped the roof off, just got detention Wrote a whole book, wanted penetention Fear that shit? Naw, what's next to mention? New charges, existence restricted Shit "evidence", still got convicted Framed? Past charges get inflicted Broken system, neck constricted Rip that snake's head off, predicted Just the start, torture's depicted Touching road, not going back Hatred way stronger than the stack My focus could be rack on rack But my core value is on track I'll break these chains, escape the cage Holding the key, unleash my rage If life's a book, been on my page Get on my level or off the stage No, you can't read me like a book But you can try, then get more shook Wise not to judge by how things look But from the knowledge that it took To become king from pawn then rook Judge mocked when I said COVID's coming Sees me now? You bet he's running Been like him? You gon' get something Heart too cold for simply gunning You gon' feel soul you've been shunning Priced your sins, you can't be bumming Paid my dues, not being cunning Been a cold world, but don't believe me Not even once, I had it easy Know in my shoes, you're more than queasy My life's a bitch, she's more than squeezy You think I'm ill? My ears ain't breezy Others' poor judgments, they disease me Downers make me sad and tired Uppers' happy's fake and wired Hate's the only drug with voice Love leaves me dead without a choice No high to chase, rejoice Life's what you make of it? Why keep sitting in your death's poise?! Torture fills my head and heart Time you get the given from the start Your lack of reason left me marked I don't need this art Just wish your death wish left so we don't part Now I'm just left with reason, from your treason To isolate, I'll meditate, become so great Billions of you vs one of me's on I guarantee you'll never see someone like me Real aims decree what one can be Life's monarchy? I'll change the tree So you cause hurt for free, but my pain's silly, huh? Family, friends, platforms, even cops can't save you Enemies, ends, my scars derange too You're all that? Tough? Think I'm a clown, ey? Oh, but you can't say what I say? Reality, bitch, come check the highway Not my way, what I say just shows my miles cray Paints a picture, my book's cover Blood, sweat, tears, and rage are color Sky's the limit? I'm above her Fucking her brains out and killing her lover Stay in the clouds? You only hover Just a crash landing to discover I rose so high from way down under "I'm so angel"? I'm so dumber Forgive? Forget? Go ask your brother What are you to steal my thunder?! Beat me up and leave me hated?! Locked up a while, but can't get gated! No repeats, truth's been well stated I'm smart, know the mess I've created You think I'm eliminated? Fool, nothing leaves me castrated!! Smart? You're jealous and got baited! Your logic's trash, mine's more than good I could be better? Could?! YOU SHOULD!! You called the FBI? Withstood Even those schmucks, they understood Respect the law? Think you're between it? Naw, I'm above and you're beneath it Enlightened, not frightened, you haven't seen it Case took 3 Crowns, they believe it 2 went missing, third just cleared it Hide in plain sight, not even trying But have you seen me once denying? An open book, but you're still prying Spine won't snap, this book's not dying Crying? Shying? I'm not buying Shit life taught me, I'm applying
Don't get me wrong. Forgiveness is very important, where appropriate, if for no other reason than mental stability. There are many people I've had to forgive for many things, as much as I might not have wanted to.
However, some things I'm deeply unwilling to forgive, and those are only ones where I truly shouldn't have to. Where it makes no sense. Where the person was extremely brutal and heartless and completely unapologetic about it to the very bitter end. Where what happened was so royally fucked up that the person not only doesn't deserve it, but also made it self-destructive for me to do so. Where forgiveness will invariably lead to suicide due to the resulting severe lack of self-respect that such forgiveness entails.
Maturity is extremely important. Forgiveness definitely can be a part of it, but self-respect is even more important. Lack of self-respect will always eventually lead to lack of desire to live (regardless of whether or not it's consciously noticed), which will never lead to a very mature mindset no matter how you may twist it.
It's extremely easy to judge me. I'd just suggest you don't forget that your judgment of me can make it extremely easy for me to make a judgment of you as well.
Whether or not you care...? Well, of course, that's entirely up to you.
Do you really care about life? We'll see. The answer for most, whether they like it or not, is no.
Are you any different? It probably comforts you to think so, but you're probably wrong.
At least you might have a chance to change.